Justin 8:19 pm
    thats because you go out of your way to seem like a guy
Bailie 8:19 pm
    LOL I DO NOT
Justin 8:19 pm
    ....

    mullet

    argument over
Bailie 8:20 pm
    dude I cut my mullet off
Justin 8:20 pm
    is it a mohawk now?

    LOLLLLLLLL

    OH SHIT

    ZING
Bailie 8:20 pm
    .....
    ............................................................. ]8
Justin 8:20 pm
    my ribs

    LMAO
Bailie 8:20 pm
    FUCK YOU JUSTIN
    LOL
    IT'S NOT TECHNICALLY A MOHAWK ANYWAY
    the sides are shaved
Justin 8:21 pm
    HOLY SHIT IT IS A MOHAWK
Bailie 8:21 pm
    LOL
    SHUT UP

...............

Bailie 8:22 pm
    there's still a little bit
    of a dyke mullet
    in the back 

Justin 8:22 pm
    just stop
Bailie 8:22 pm
    so I guess I'm only perpetuating
    the stereotype
Justin 8:22 pm
    please, you need to stop
Bailie 8:22 pm
    LOLLL
Justin 8:22 pm
    your making it worse for yourself

 I'm still trying to figure out what to wear for next week.   WE'RE GOING MOD!   I need to go to American Vintage or Aardvarks or something.  I fucking hate that our team color is pink, only because I can't buy pieces that I'll be able to re-use.  I mean, I guess I could buy some mostly black shit, and get a pink tie or something.   I just want to be able to recycle if I spend the money on this stuff (our dress-code is solid black only, lol).   I'm sure I'll be able to figure out something, though.  Wish me luck!

PERFECTIONISM

A few of my favorites from Gareth Pugh S/S 2011. 

I don't really have any sort of pseudo-intellectual bullshit as to why the minimal patterns and lines and structure tell a story and blah blah whatever.  These pieces are bad ass, though.  I've seen more breathtaking shit from Pugh in past seasons, but I like this, too.  I'd definitely wear anything from this collection.  Especially the jackets.  Amazing.

  Today brought up interesting conversation that made me think about a few things.  Something I love about this industry, something that applies to really just life in general, is that nothing is immutable.  Like fashion changing each season, everyone is continually reaching the top and being knocked down by someone climbing up the ladder.  Perfectionism creates this unstoppable drive to become the best - but to no avail, because you will always be looking up toward someone else.  

I think that's part of what I love about it.  

I'm sure everyone else can relate to working toward a goal and accomplishing it, or finally buying something you've wanted forever, or finally finishing that super fucking long book series or something. 

Just that satisfaction in reaching the end, and then the immediate...  unsatisfied feeling afterward.  The "what next?" feeling.   Continuing. 

I always feel like that.  I'm always unsatisfied.  I always have some sort of goal to accomplish, and once I'm finished, I have that obnoxious driving knot in my stomach to keep going.  

We can only continually work at becoming the greatest, and there's something exciting about that.

Otherwise, it made my day when this girl from the other core said she wanted Katherine Moennig to be waiting for us in our classrooms.  I high-fived her.

OH MY SUPER GIRL NI SHI WO DE BABY GIRL

MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 girls at school were talking about how hot these certain dudes were
 and I had to be like
 "I like skinny asian guys?"
 "...that dance and stuff"
 and they were like "......."
Nicole says:
 ROFL
 LOL THEYRE DANCING
 AND THAT ONE DUDE HAS SUSPENDERSSSS
MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 HE DOES.
 BUT THERE'S NO FAT ONE
 BECAUSE HE CAN'T SING IN MANDARIN
Nicole says:
 EXCELLENT


OH MY SUPER GIRL WO SHI NI DE SUPER MAYUN.

Had a good day.  I did a curly, regent-up-do, while we played 2NE1 and G-Dragon and Gaga in class.  At lunch, we talked about genital piercings and...  something else.   I forgot.  This girl in my class worked at a tattoo shop for 10 years, and started telling all of these awesome, gross piercing horror stories. 

The guy in class who was licensed out of state left school today.  He found out he didn't actually have to take an entire cosmetology course in order to get his license here.  I never really got to thank him for what he said to me, and I didn't get to say good bye, either.

I think I'll just make what he said happen.  That'd be a good thanks. 

PS, FFFF JYJ IS DOING A US TOUR.   Always wanted to see TVXQ before I died, but since I can't now, this is totally the next best thing, fuck yeah.

KRISTEN MCMENAMY, GORGEOUS, FLAWLESS, PERFECTION, ETC.

COULD WE FIIIIIX YOU IF YOU BROOOKEEEE (hair shafts)

A good ending to my week.  

Yesterday was so stressful, so I was glad today we were just sitting down and taking notes.  I'm not really a left-brained person at all, but science and generally left-centered concepts become more interesting when it relates back to a subject you like.  Especially because the things I learned today are things I'm going to use for the rest of my life, so that was pretty cool.  

I like taking notes, anyway.

Two people said ended up saying something to me that not only made my ego grow enormously, but really just secured my confidence in myself.  It was just funny because they were both completely separate occasions, so I was like "woh".  

It was cool though, because one of those people is already licensed.  They said "I can already tell you're going to make it far in this industry-- so if we get out of this and never talk to each other again, just remember I said that".

I was just like "....I BETTER GO FAR IN THIS INDUSTRY, I NEED TO BE THE BEST".

Hahaha.  I'm so fucking determined, and if I exude that, then I'm even happier.  

I feel like I am the biggest competition-- and everyone else is my competition.  

But even then, I still love everyone in my class.  Everyone's great.

So, next week is color week.  I am very excited.  I'm seriously considering going platinum again.  Properly, this time.  So after I learn a bit of this, I'm probably going to do it.  I can buy better toners and what not at my school, anyway.

CHEMISTRY, BONDS, AND IONS

Bang

I see what you did there, fingerwaves.

I wholly understand why my teacher said this very day while she was still a student, is the day that made her want to quit school. 

Jesus christ, it's such a simple concept, too.  But for some reason, it's so fucking difficult.

Finger waves, you son of a bitch.

I ended up getting it FINALLY, towards the end of the day. 

But then we did rollers.  Uggghhh, those are obnoxious too. 

It was just a lot in one day, and while I work extremely well under pressure, the perfectionist in me becomes frustrated over things like that.

But it was the first time I've ever done anything like I did today. 

It's really easy to become self-defeating when you have days like that, and that's exactly what they were warning us about--- so I kind of had to sit myself down and say "hey, you have 1600 hours to become the fucking master of this, don't sweat it.".

I HAD TO SCREAM IN MY CAR THAT I WOULD DO GAGA'S HAIR AND WORK AT FASHION WEEK. 


It's part of why I love their attitude so much.  Whenever someone in class says something negative, they have to say an affirmation about themselves.  In present tense.  "I am the best hairstylist" is thrown around a lot.   I can tell some people think it's ridiculous and silly to say shit like that, but you have to fucking believe that in order to really succeed. 

It's such a competitive industry, and so you have to know that you're the pokemon master of it.  You have to know that you're better than every single one of those people, because if you believe it, you can become the best.  

I really like homework tonight, though.  Collage time.

CHEMISTRY AND SCIENCE TOMORROW!  (mildly excited, actually)   And then color week is all next week.  I can't fucking waaaaait for color week.

breathtaking chaos sequence of events

First few days of school:

- Drank the koolaid
- Chinese fire-drilled the class that started a week before us
- Learned how to properly drape a guest
- Gave hugs to strangers.  Oh, and the Backstreet Boys were there, too.  (some girls cried)
- Mr. T was also there.  He said the T stands for "temperature", because he makes it hot.
- Then I shampooed someone for the first time.    ...At least, the first time in a traditional setting.  Washing hair dye out of someone's hair while they're bent over a bathtub doesn't count.
- Discovered fellow ambitious people. 

It's pretty fucking amazing.

I felt like a sap because I felt the urge to get all choked up on the drive home from the first day.  It's just really cool, because the teachers have the same ideals that I do.  There are some people there who have the same ideals, as well. 

Because I feel like I'll explode any day now from this ambition and this excitement and this determination.  So I've found a place that continually sucks out and injects me with even more ambition and excitement.

...Well, I guess injects me with knowledge of this trade, too.  That's kind of important. 

I have great teachers, though.

I feel like this is making up for everything I fucking missed out on in highschool.  I never fucking went to public school, and I never had that one life-changing teacher that everyone seems to have had.  I was cheated out of all of that, but I have this crazy feeling that going here is going to make everything fucking incredible.

Waking up at 6 is hard, and sitting in traffic for an hour sucks too, but once I walk through those doors and I can smell the clinic floor and be immersed in the fast paced chaos, the endless chatter, the sound of blow-dryers and the thought that I'm going to be the best stylist---the negativity kind of melts away.

INJECT ME BABY I'M A FREE BITCH



PS, I want Kristen McMenamy's hair. 
Why can't I go gray faster.

let's let's let's let's let's

I am 6-5-4 and I will be an incredible hairstylist, someday.

Paws up for Gaga, because I'm having a Gaga dance party instead of sleeping.

First day of school adventure starts tomorrow.

It is most definitely karma.

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.

This is what my room currently looks like.  So, like hoarders fucked leopard print and shit this beauty out.  I guess.  

There's just a mess everywhere and I haven't fully been able to unpack everything, or organize everything.  I made a half assed attempt this weekend, but I have fallen ill!  This always happens when I fly on airplanes.  Everyone says to take airborne or some shit before I go, and I never listen, and then I come back feeling great, go to bed, and I wake up with the black lung.  Go figure. 

It's not actually so bad at the moment.  I woke up Saturday and could barely breathe, so today was a bit better.  I'm just going to feel weird if it's as bad on Tuesday, and I walk into class hacking up my lungs.  Oh, by the way, school starts in two days.  FFFFFF-- I  am nervous and excited.  I still have to pay for my parking pass.  You see, I like waiting until the last minute to do things.  It's how I do.

I figure once school starts and I get a little more money into my pockets, I'll have the motivation to put up the rest of my posters and my cork board aaand buy a clothes rack to hang up the shit that should be hung up, but is currently resting atop my hamper.  Yes. 

Sitting around, drinking tea, watchin' Daria.

AT LEAST I HAVE GAGA TO KEEP ME COMPANY IN MY TIME OF ILLNESS. 

In anycase, one last full day of work tomorrow, and then school starts.  I know tomorrow is going to go by painfully slow, but I'm hoping coffee and training H to do the mail will make the day go by faster.  After that, I have to buckle down and figure out what to wear on my first day.  I'm probably going to go out and buy some hair dye or something, but I'm so messy at dyeing my own hair that I know I'll get it all over myself, and so I have to decide whether or not I want to walk into the first day of class with dark dye all over my neck, ha.   I MIGHT BE THAT ADVENTUROUS, THOUGH.  

All in all, it's been a pretty pleasant summer.  Krishna's been good to me.  The weather has been good to me.  This is the first summer I've lived where it's been predominately 75 degrees everyday.  Holy fucking shit, right?  I've been able to wear fucking sweaters in the god damn summer.   Though, I can't help but think of winter and Christmas, a lot.  I'm really missing the rain, here.  It gets me all nostalgic.

halo my name is desukun and i was sent hurr 2 seduce u

` ` k r i s t e n . says:
 DESUDESU
 KUN
 ^___^
 NYAAA
MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 ^_~
 nyo~ron
 :3
` ` k r i s t e n . says:
 =^~^=
MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 (^ w ^ ;;;)

So, I was thinking about things.  Ohh man, getting personal now?   But Bailie, it's much too soon to be doing that.  You haven't even reached first base with this thing here.  How can you even think of writing something like this, this soon?  Sshhh.  

So I was thinking.   About everything, because that's what I do when I'm struggling to stay awake after taking benadryl to get to sleep.  

I remembered that thing you posted a long time ago.  I had way too much pride to acknowledge it.  I actually still have too much pride, but considering no one will ever read this (and if someone is reading this, you now do not exist),  I'm bringing it up now.  

I hated it because the one about me was painfully obvious, and it wasn't even anything bad about me.  I guess to anyone else it would have been considered nice.  But I hated it.  Mostly because I was filled with so much pride, and because that was the last thing I wanted, and you were wishing it upon me.  And assuming that's what I worried about, or something.  But you were wrong.  

So months and months later, I find myself sitting here.  It's taken forever to get to this point, but I'm finally my confident self again, you know.   It was really tedious getting back here.  

So I wonder when other people wish the same thing on others...   Or when people just wish it for themselves.  It's kind of weird to me.  Part of me feels like that will never exist again, but you know, never say never.  Or rather, it's just not something I've concerned myself with?

I'd like to be lame enough to quote Johnny Rotten right now, and say I'VE GOT NO EMOTIONSSS FOR ANYBODY ELSE, YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND I'M IN LOVE WITH MYSELF, MYSEEEELF.  MY BEAUTIFUL SELF.   No feelings for anybody else, except for myself.

It feels really good, though.  You forget how good, after awhile, until you're able to do it again.  

I'm a really fucking vague bear right now, but even for me, it's saying almost too much.  Scandalous.   It's nice to get out though.  Mostly because when you've never gotten to say what you wanted, and then you finally come to the point where you're cool with saying everything, it feels like a huge boulder's been lifted.

Sometimes I wonder about the amount of ambition in everyone else.  Sometimes I feel like what I was talking about is all they ever worry about.  I feel like I spent such a huge chunk of my life worrying about that.  Do you know how long that was?  A year.  Not wasted, though.  You can't say you regret anything.  Or at least I can't.  But then you go back to ambitions and you're so fucking full of it, that it's bursting out of your finger tips and eye sockets.  

I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE FALLING IN LOVE WITH MYSELF, PERHAPS.  Would like to fall in love with my school.  Would like to fall in love with some more inspiration.   It's funny, you think you miss falling in love until you realize you're in love with so many other things-- you were never missing that feeling at all in the first place.  

So I wonder what everyone else ambitions are?   It's not something a lot of people talk about or think they have.  And most are right, they don't.  

I'd like to know, though.

This is all so vague and unnecessary, but also necessary.  Some people say I'm fucking stupid and crazy for the things I say I want to do.  

But how can anyone not want to try to prove Aristotle right?   How can you not pursue that?  Even until death?  Just keep fucking going until you do everything. 

So, what's your function?  How will you make it a reality?

dude

 

  

 

I don't care what anyone says, these are the shit.

TOUR '10 THE UNWAVERING FACT OF FUCK YEAH

GOD DAMN, BEST TOUR EVER.

 It's finally over, too.  It felt like the tour lasted forever, but those last four dates went by so quickly that I can't believe they're over.  This was the absolute best I've seen of them.

 

We ended up getting to Club Nokia the day before the show, and met a couple people already waiting there.  We fucked around until around 1AM, when they sent out some security guards telling us we had to split because it was private property and they didn't want us there.  We got wrist-banded and told to come back the next day at noon and we'd get our front spots back. 

Because a bunch of people were already lined up with us, and they told us we all had to leave, we ended up letting 9 people crash on our one-bed hotel room because half of them had nowhere else to go.  They had either traveled from an hour or two away or had no cars, so we ended up having a party.  Zakk came and visited too, but he ended up leaving that night 'cause he had work. 

KAORU'S PICK, AAHHH.  

 Fuck yeah, they're all purple.  JZHZ!  This dude tried to swipe it from me but I fucking kicked his ass for it.  Seeing Rasetsukoku and ZAN live were utterly amazing.  Honestly, I really can't describe how fucking badass it was.  It just was.  I still get goosebumps thinking about it in my head.   LA was, as always, amazing.  Best show.

SAN FRANCISCO 9/09/10

Mark Twain wasn't fucking kidding when he said the coldest winter he spent was a summer in San Francisco.  Basically, it was really fucking cold.  Mostly due to the wind.  The show wasn't amazing, either.  I was a bit disappointed with the crowd.  I was kind of bored with the city, as well, and that was a disappointment.  I'm glad I finally visited, though, because I'd been wanting to go to SF for so long and I finally did!

SEATTLE 9/11/10

MET UP WITH LING SDFSDFFD.

Seattle was fucking brutal.  Fucking metal. It surpassed San Francisco greatly.  We all got rail in front of Kaoru, again.  All I have to say is, Shame on you Dir en grey's American management, for making your VIP passes the same for each date.  Some of us travel around.  After the show, we went back to Ling's house and slept, then woke up early so we could drive to Portland!

PORTLAND 9/12/10

BADASS GRAFFITI BATHROOM IN PORTLAND!

Portland was kind of crazy.  I understand why they have the sign that says "keep Portland weird".  I figured out that everyone in Portland is either really cool, or they're a crackhead.  It was the first time anyone's smoked crack within three feet of me.  It kind of smells like shit.   The city itself creeped us the fuck out because of how clean and nice looking it was.  Very spacious, clean, and empty.  It was kind of like in 28 Days Later, when Cillian Murphy woke up and the city was completely empty.  That's what Portland was like at first.  Except the few infected we saw were just crackheads.  Everyone else was cool though!  And they had this really awesome arcade behind the venue, too.  Ling beat my ass at Mortal Kombat. 

The tour finale itself was really good.  Rail in front of Kaoru one last time.  I'm really glad we went, because this tour was the best I've seen from them.  

I met so many cool people this year, and it was definitely the perfect way to end the summer.  I'm so fucking happy, and I can't wait until they come back.

School starts next Tuesday!   I still need to go clothes shopping, ha.  I'm bummed I missed the open house for class, since I was in San Francisco, but I guess I'll just meet everyone on the first day of class.  I feel like I should probably dye my hair or something.  I like this color and yet I don't.

fuck yeah fuck you SIX FIVE FOUR

OFFICIALLY CONTRACTED.   OFFICIALLYYY ENROLLED. 

  My student number is pretty bad ass, too.  654.   IT'S NUMERICALLY CONSECUTIVE.  But backwards.  I like it.  It's neat.  

Mostly, I was just happy it didn't have the number 7 in it, because I hate that number.  Six is my favorite number, though.   Good luck number.  Their james bond-style hand scanning machine was cool, too.  Cut out time clock fraud!  Now they have my hand print. 

I found out there are only ten phase two students at one time.  While sitting in a chair behind the phase two section, I guess one of the instructors started talking to me.  She was really cute and I thought she was a student at first, because of how young she looked, but she said congratulations on me coming here and that it was going to be amazing, etc.  Then she said hopefully one day I could maybe get into phase two, and I just looked at her and said "I will."...    and then thought, "ohhh did that come off as too obnoxiously cocky?", so I ended up saying "I'm really, really ambitious" afterwards.  She just said "That's good!  It's good to just start off wanting it.". 

I have two weeks until I start, but I was already looking at those stations and saying to myself "which one will be mine one day?".  

I'll become a phase two student.   There's really just no option otherwise.

DIVE LIKE HELL AND DESTROY

I am finally going to meet this motherfucker's stylish ass.

Look at him.  Fucking look at him.  He is so god damn cool.  I can't stand it.

I've met all of them, but for some reason he just kept getting away.  This time it'll happen, and I need to fucking high five him or something.

UPCOMING

- 09/08/10 CLUB NOKIA, LOS ANGELES, CA

- 09/09/10 REGENCY BALLROOM, SAN FRANCISCO, CA

- 09/11/10 SHOWBOX SODO, SEATTLE, WA

- 09/12/10 ROSELAND THEATER, PORTLAND, OR

They've been playing RASETSUKOKU, and because of that, I have a feeling these are going to be the best lives I've seen from them.  But I say that every time, don't I?   I'm curious as to what kind of live show Apocalyptica puts on, too.  Either way, I know this tour is going to be amazing.   

......  (MOSTLY THOUGH RASETSUKOKU+HAGESHI+ZAN?  FUCK YES.)

FIVE DAYS LEFT TO WAIT.

FUCK YEAH FUCK YOU SEPTEMBER IS HERE

FINALLY.

Life begins this month.

7 days until I see those bastards again.
I am unimaginably excited for this.  I'm excited to see everyone again.  I'm excited to hear them again.  THEY'RE GOING TO PLAY A SONG I'VE WAITED YEARS TO  HEAR LIVE.  AND ALSO FUCK YEAH FUCK YOU NEW ZAN IS BETTER.  They will undoubtedly play it here, too.

My friend has just told me that Kaoru is riding a bicycle around Chicago.   I don't know why that's so funny today.

School starts in 20 days.  I'm even more excited.
Just have to sign some contracts and everything is finalized.  

Having a driver's license is great, too.  LA traffic is a bitch to sit in, but there's still a sense of freedom in being able to go wherever you want, whenever.  But at a price.     I'm learning to save money for gas instead of everything else I want.

Staying content is keeping busy.  Happiness is keeping busy with something you love.   September begins a steady rhythm of that.

I am excited.