halo my name is desukun and i was sent hurr 2 seduce u

` ` k r i s t e n . says:
 DESUDESU
 KUN
 ^___^
 NYAAA
MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 ^_~
 nyo~ron
 :3
` ` k r i s t e n . says:
 =^~^=
MONSIEUR B∀ILIE says:
 (^ w ^ ;;;)

So, I was thinking about things.  Ohh man, getting personal now?   But Bailie, it's much too soon to be doing that.  You haven't even reached first base with this thing here.  How can you even think of writing something like this, this soon?  Sshhh.  

So I was thinking.   About everything, because that's what I do when I'm struggling to stay awake after taking benadryl to get to sleep.  

I remembered that thing you posted a long time ago.  I had way too much pride to acknowledge it.  I actually still have too much pride, but considering no one will ever read this (and if someone is reading this, you now do not exist),  I'm bringing it up now.  

I hated it because the one about me was painfully obvious, and it wasn't even anything bad about me.  I guess to anyone else it would have been considered nice.  But I hated it.  Mostly because I was filled with so much pride, and because that was the last thing I wanted, and you were wishing it upon me.  And assuming that's what I worried about, or something.  But you were wrong.  

So months and months later, I find myself sitting here.  It's taken forever to get to this point, but I'm finally my confident self again, you know.   It was really tedious getting back here.  

So I wonder when other people wish the same thing on others...   Or when people just wish it for themselves.  It's kind of weird to me.  Part of me feels like that will never exist again, but you know, never say never.  Or rather, it's just not something I've concerned myself with?

I'd like to be lame enough to quote Johnny Rotten right now, and say I'VE GOT NO EMOTIONSSS FOR ANYBODY ELSE, YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND I'M IN LOVE WITH MYSELF, MYSEEEELF.  MY BEAUTIFUL SELF.   No feelings for anybody else, except for myself.

It feels really good, though.  You forget how good, after awhile, until you're able to do it again.  

I'm a really fucking vague bear right now, but even for me, it's saying almost too much.  Scandalous.   It's nice to get out though.  Mostly because when you've never gotten to say what you wanted, and then you finally come to the point where you're cool with saying everything, it feels like a huge boulder's been lifted.

Sometimes I wonder about the amount of ambition in everyone else.  Sometimes I feel like what I was talking about is all they ever worry about.  I feel like I spent such a huge chunk of my life worrying about that.  Do you know how long that was?  A year.  Not wasted, though.  You can't say you regret anything.  Or at least I can't.  But then you go back to ambitions and you're so fucking full of it, that it's bursting out of your finger tips and eye sockets.  

I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE FALLING IN LOVE WITH MYSELF, PERHAPS.  Would like to fall in love with my school.  Would like to fall in love with some more inspiration.   It's funny, you think you miss falling in love until you realize you're in love with so many other things-- you were never missing that feeling at all in the first place.  

So I wonder what everyone else ambitions are?   It's not something a lot of people talk about or think they have.  And most are right, they don't.  

I'd like to know, though.

This is all so vague and unnecessary, but also necessary.  Some people say I'm fucking stupid and crazy for the things I say I want to do.  

But how can anyone not want to try to prove Aristotle right?   How can you not pursue that?  Even until death?  Just keep fucking going until you do everything. 

So, what's your function?  How will you make it a reality?