記憶な～

For some reason I am nostalgic.

For some reason I'm thinking back to that certain conversation and it still makes me feel warm.


Of course, I can't say that to anyone again.

That'd be like recycling hallmark cards.

So, we're watching 28 Days Later, and I hate this movie because the zombies are all runners.   We also ate too many cupcakes today. 

Today was pretty laid back though, and that was nice.   Did N's hair, did her makeup too, ran around town, saw my brother,  he bought me starbucks, came back home and N's mom made sushi.  Just chilled.

Tomorrow is a full work day, and that sucks, but money has never been tighter.   Then I start on the floor on Tuesday!  I'm excited and kind of sad.   Well, excited of course because it's progress, and I'm ready to finally work with real hair, but sad because my mom's will get new children, and I'll be with different teachers.  Going to miss them.  I mean, I'll still see them everyday, but still.   IT WAS LIKE THIS WHEN MY SISTER WAS BORN!   That's a horrible thing to say, but hey, this is my space and I'll cry if I want to.   I'm a possessive gemini, I can't help it. 

I've been thinking about the future.  I'm constantly thinking about the future.  What's next, what's next.

Maybe I daydream too much, but it's not so bad.  It's partly why sitting in 101 traffic isn't so bad, because I spend all of my time thinking in traffic.  Just about everything.  Deep philosophical bullshit while the music blasts and I drive in the third lane, because if I don't, it's a bitch to try to merge onto the 405. 

All I did when I worked full time was think, and that's how I got through the day.  These days, I probably have those deep conversations with myself less...    I think that may be because I'm actually talking to people or I'm just preoccupied with something to do with hair. 

I'm so happy like that. 

I feel like tomorrow I'll go to work, come home, grab a cup of tea and then pull out my cutting DVDs.  Date with triangular graduation cut, oh mannnn.

ハッピハロウインよ ★

FUCK YEAH FUCK HALLOWEEN

Obligatory Gaga cupcake

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, GO WATCH A ZOMBIE MOVIE

Fuck yeah don't mind if I fucking do

ACED MY WRITTEN TEST, ANNIHILATED MY FLOOR TEST.

I will now be working on humans.  Good bye fucking rubber creepy michael jackson doll heads. 

Here are some goals:

- Drink more water

- Cut out the last 20 lookbook pictures I need and assemble them into the lookbook

- Drink more water

- Put together M's present

- Drink more water

- Keep being a bad ass

I THINK I CAN MANAGE A COUPLE TONIGHT HMM

it's because I can't help myself

WEIRD AND FAMILIAR BUT DIFFERENT


this gemini is intrigued


but slightly skeptical


still I like this

YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

FROM THE PAST UNTIL COMPLETION

 

Things I would like : 

 - Bill Cosby Sweater

- Someone to share the Bill Cosby Sweater with

- pass my written and floor tests

- more gasoline

Keep on workin' keep on workin'

MIAU MIAU

Week is finally over. 

I'm still anxious about the floor test, but I think everything's going to turn out well.  

The weather's been my favorite kind of weather:  gloomy and drizzly!  It's perfect scarf weather. It reminds me of Christmas (despite it not being halloween yet).  

I don't have anything really interesting to say right now,  I'm sitting at my best friend's kitchen table while I wait for her to get home, and as of lately I've been preoccupied with a good mix of people and daydreaming...  And horizontal sectioning, cutting, and perms. 

I feel like I'm going down the right track.  Years of anxiety prior to this, hoping I would get to this point, are finally being justified, and new, fresh anxiety replaces it.  But it's not so bad. It's the driving kind.  

When they talked about what kind of personality types we all are, at first I thought I was either the inventor or the feeler, but the more time we spend there, the more I get called a driver and the more I'm becoming convinced that's what I am.  Which isn't bad at all!  Just funny.  

The more time I spend there, the more I can pick out the various things I've needed and wanted, scattered nicely amongst various people and places and things.  Instead of those qualities being bunched up all into one, they're broken up and organized in many different ways.  Which is kind of nice the more I think about it.  It's less volatile.  It's warmer and sparks my interest a bit more.  I feel like it'll take much longer time before I become bored.  I'm thinking a good 1600 hours before I need to move onto the next thing.

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE

I know exactly how you feel, but hang in there, 'cause I promise it gets better.   I'm proof of that, and my thing was a bit different, but I promise it was the exact same feeling, and I promise that after awhile, it went away.

Even though it feels like it won't, and even though it feels all muddy and terrible, like you're stuck or some shit.

It's not so bad after awhile, that's one thing I know for sure.  I definitely can't be your rebound or anything, either, as I am lacking a dick, but if I could do anything more for you than I already am, then I definitely would.   So cheer up, you. 


In other news, I am trying out this forward focus thing.  Well, more-so than my stubborn mind has already been able to do. 

I'm also looking forward to next Sunday.  I really need some retail therapy.  Going with Miss Glass should be fun, as well. 

It's been a good weekend, but now I'm really fucking tired.  I feel like sleeping is a waste right now, though.  I wish I could run on like, three hours of sleep every night.  Mmmrgghgh.

 To be honest, I'm kind of nervous for the floor test and everything.  I know I'll pass, but I'm still nervous.  It's almost that feeling like, "will I really be ready?", but I guess that's what the waivers are there for.  It doesn't matter if I'm ready.  If I'm gonna melt hair, I'm gonna melt hair.  Which will be incredibly horrifying and maybe a little awesome at the same time.  Hey, you gotta learn somehow. 

I'm working really hard at trying to sell enough bags to get to Vegas, too.   I'm pretty sure I'll be there.  Usually if I'm not determined, I don't give a fuck, but I feel determined. 

I won't be able to do shit in Vegas, but at the same time, I don't feel so bad about that, because I don't really like to drink and I know if I'm allowed to gamble, I'll come back poorer than I am now.  Some how. 

I'M TOO IMPULSIVE. 

The convention sounds pretty badass, though.  That's why I'd be going.  I GOTTA WIN.  I can see myself in my head being there and that drives me crazy.

CAMEL FOOT

hi hi hi hi hihi hih i hi


So, today I was utterly inspired by this guy who was in my presence for maybe five fucking minutes.  But I can't stop thinking about him.  I can't stop thinking about how I want to see him again so I can go "hey, fucking thank you".  Fucking thank you.   He didn't even really do anything right then and there, but it's what he's done that fucking inspires me.

He got my dream job 3 weeks after he graduated.

Before, I had a little bit of anxiety sitting in the back of my stomach, nudging here and there, but I mostly just ignored it and went through my day, but him coming in totally obliterated that. 

And that's really fucking cool.

Otherwise, the days have been going about nicely.

I've been so happy lately, and that's so nice.   It's really weird.  You go about such a long period of time feeling a certain way, and then you feel like this and it catches you off guard. 

I mean, it's not entirely cake either.  I'm still fucking exhausted as I type this, and I'm still fucking stressed, but...  it's that accomplished stressed feeling..?   You just run around like crazy, drinking too much tea and coffee and barely eating because you're running around all the time and worrying about finishing up homework and studying for your floor test and worrying about whether or not you can get this hair cut right...  but I'm still deliriously happy. 

It's just a weird feeling to wake up to your alarm clock at 6:30 AM and feel good about getting up. 

It's fucking bizarre.

PS, say something good about yourself today.  I cut bad ass layers earlier.   And now I'm gonna go shower.

Good night

Insomnia, I think we should talk about settling down together

Can't sleep yet.  I'm sitting here thinking about geometry and shapes and cigarettes.  Mostly shapes, though.  The one-length square cut seems easy enough, but it seems only tomorrow will tell.  I don't really want to go to bed, though.  You know those nights you have sometimes, where you don't want to go to bed because maybe, just maybe if you stayed up all night, tomorrow would never come?   I feel like that just a little, at the moment. 

I mean, I want tomorrow to happen, I just don't like sitting in 101 traffic for an hour.  

Although at the same time, it reminds me of something my uncle said to me once.  This was before I started school, but we were having a conversation on the impact of public transportation, and how LA is shit because our public transportation is virtually nonexistent (fuck our buses and fuck our excuse for a subway system).  He was telling me how we have a certain bus that will take me to school, and taking it would make my life easier because I'm going to fucking hate sitting in traffic everyday.

Alright, well I fucking hate traffic, but I had sort of an epiphany after thinking about that.

Before I started school, I was working full time for months at a boring desk job.  Just 8 hours, every day, same faces, same bullshit.  I fucking hated it, but I had nothing else to do and having money almost made up for how boring life was.   

I realized that sitting in traffic for 45 minutes is not only the least of my fucking problems, but is also preferable to sitting at a desk for 8 hours wanting to pull my hair out.  

Especially because I can blast dance music and dance in my car while waiting to get onto the 405, while everyone kind of stares at me weirdly.  Or dances with me.

So hey, it takes me awhile to pick out details like that at times, but instead of complaining about stupid shit, just remember all of the awesome shit that outweighs it.  Even if it's little.

Like school.  (at least for me)

It's that time, kids

CONFESSION

On those rare occasions in the mornings

when they play Daft Punk's Da Funk on the radio

while I'm driving to school

I put on my sunglasses and feel like the biggest badass on the road


(I have to still wear my sunglasses over my regular glasses though, haaaa)

PRIME TIME OF YOUR LIFE

NEW YORK, WHY DO YOU REQUIRE TWICE AS MANY HOURS TO GET LICENSED THAN CALIFORNIA DOES?  (alright, maybe it's only 600 more and not twice as many-- still, I'm dramatic)


Does that mean your stylists are twice as good?


I love you but you're killing me.   But that's okay, I'll make it. 

At least this way, I'm slowing starting to pick out the finer details within the grand scheme of things.  It's harder for me to not see just the big picture, but now I know what I have to do.   Well, slightly.

I could be sleeping right now........

Which means I am definitely not sleeping right now. 

It's been an interesting few days.  I'm a little surprised as to how much this sucks the life out of you.  I like it a lot, though.  I like being this busy.   It gives you a little bit of a temporary purpose until you can go on to do what you've intended.  Well, but I guess it's not so temporary.  It's only the stepping stones. 

I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about right now, all I know is that my eyes are a bit heavy, but that On the Road show with Austin Scarlett and Santino and my laptop are enough to keep me distracted.

Tomorrow we do chemical relaxers.  Chemicals that can eat through soda cans, mmmm.  Today was perms.  No one gets perms anymore.  I was thinking, and I feel like I would get a perm on the top of my head.  Or something.  But really, I probably never will.

I'm kind of just waiting around until midnight to see my direct deposit check.  Finally getting paid.  Too bad it all goes to gas and people I owe money to, haaaa.  I'm desperately wanting clothes. 

I feel like everyone should go out this weekend.  Lately, all I've been thinking about is how excited I am to sleep all saturday night and sunday morning, but..  I think we should all just go out and stay out all night. 

I'd like that, or I would like someone to drive me through the canyons with the windows rolled down.   And could we listen to some dead milkmen, maybe? 

Be still, my beating heart.

Comme des Garcons S/S 2011

God damn.

I LOVE YOU, OKAY?

Disgruntled and waiting for Guitar Wolf.

That was probably one of the best fucking shows I've ever been to.

Crazy pit, Seiji ended up pulling a fan on stage to play guitar, and toward the end, Seiji pulled everyone up on stage, á la Iggy, to dance and then stage dive off.

MY BROTHER GOT UP ON STAGE. Twice.   He danced and stage dived, and then Seiji pulled him and a few others up again to make a human pyramid so he could climb to the top.

It was so fucking cool.

THEN AT THE ENDEND, after the encore, when everyone thought they were done, Seiji came back and played I Love You, Okay by himself.

I loved it, because I remember I used to listen to that song when I was super down at one point, and it always brought back shitty memories...  But we listened to it in the car on the way there and I blasted it and it just made me laugh.  So he played it and I screamed out the words, and left with my ears ringing loudly.

I'm sad I couldn't see them with Billy there, but it was still kickass.

My brother and I left wanting yakuza sleeves.

go blonde, eat cereal

Colorwheel is finished.

Daul's going in my lookbook, now!

Say hi