今今今今今今今

これは面白いね．．．



今、俺はジョージみたいなもんだ。









And now I feel like going out somewhere.

BLACK FRIDAY

UURRGGHHH

Thanksgiving left me feeling like a bloated badass.

Drunken festivities with the family, followed by my own drunken festivities.

Black Friday arrived, and left me no choice but to go out and buy Kanye's new album, because it was on sale at best buy.

It's kind of fucking great.

EVERYBODAY KNOWS I'M A MUTHAFUCKIN' MONSTER
I'MMA NEEDA SEE YO' FUCKIN' HANDS AT DA CONCERT

alors on danse

expectations and overthinking

egoism and recreation

humanism and satisfaction

ambition and effort


Common traits are comforting.  I feel more at ease, like a little part of this heavy burden melts away more.  It's difficult being difficult, and trustworthiness is hard to come by, but sometimes it falls into your lap.

You miss those traits bunched up into one until you start to notice that each of those traits are scattered amongst the collective of people you see everyday. 

Even so far as to say that new things and ideas and personalities that you've never experienced are discovered, and you appreciate more and more, little by little.

It's nice to relate, isn't it?

Sometimes I feel like my perfectionism is my driving force and my achilles heel.  I will surpass the greatest.  My egoism creates this sense of self-importance, this sort of inner monologue with myself, that there's something special about me.

Honestly, sometimes I think it's just the OCD.

 I think everyone needs to find the one thing that they're a master of.  Something that feeds into their own sense of self-importance, and then pursue it.

I'm thankful for five dollar tips, french techno, 27's, leather boots, and my new friends.

We watched The Walking Dead all night.

It was pretty intense.

I WORKED FOREVER TODAY.  Forever.  

School again tomorrow.  I'm excited that this week is cut short because of Thanksgiving.  This means there is time for sleeping.

A bunch of us went to Little Tokyo last Saturday.  We ate ramen bowls the size of our heads, and everything was a little awkward until my brother and M and J showed up.  We bought moustaches at popkiller, and Samantha and I became Russian comrades.

TRIPPY

It's so weird how you don't look like you anymore in my dreams.

I don't ever really dream about you anymore, but for some reason I did.

You moved into the condo across the street, kept your windows open and had a big party in the back room.   People were sprawled out on the ground and scattered everywhere, and you were sitting on the floor with a group of people, but I couldn't see their faces.

I could see yours, but you didn't look like how you used to.

I watched the party from my window across the street, and eventually something else happened and I don't remember the rest of the dream.

Subconcious is telling me I am a voyeur.  (!!!)

SAY HI TO ONE YEAR

It has been one whole year since you've passed away.

Aside from missing you each season, and in glossy magazine spreads, and in silly designer commercials where you're dancing to tacky trance until your legs hurt....

I miss your words the most.

Even so, I still read what you've left us, from start to finish, and I still take from what you've written and relate and feel warm.

I know you're some place special now, and I hope I'll see you there one day, wherever it is.

RIP DAUL
my favorite monster

It's a defense mechanism.




And I just dunno how to handle those sorts of people anymore.



In any case, I'm excited to sleep tonight.

191109

 

"A polka-dot has the form of the sun, which is a symbol of the energy of the whole world and our living life, and also the form of the moon, which is calm. Round, soft, colourful, senseless and unknowing. Polka-dots can't stay alone; like the communicative life of people, two or three polka-dots become movement... Polka-dots are a way to infinity. 

It was not so simple, not so easy to come up with this way of living that I've had. I was given a sad life by fate, but I think I won a happy life. . . . Not one day has passed when I didn't think of suicide, but I'm very glad to be alive now. Most people are so preoccupied with their illness, sickness, and they live a very ordinary life. I was so involved and so engrossed with painting, and knew from my childhood that it could help me to overcome unhappiness.

If it were not for art, I would have killed myself a long time ago."

 ―Yayoi Kusama

SAY GOOD MORNING

 

Sunday is the best day

bonjour bonjour

FIRST CLIENT TAKEN TODAY.   Marshall and I colored her hair and it looked gorgeous! 

From that, I made my first tip, ahhhh.  Five bucks!

After that, I did my first men's hair cut, and that was daunting but fun as well.  

I loved today because I was busy all day long.   I hate it when we just sit around, because it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time and money, but this time I was so busy.  I didn't actually get out of there until an hour after school ended, and we didn't really have time to get lunch because we were so busy, but it left me with this satisfied feeling.



AND NOW IT'S THE WEEKEND!  I am sleeping forever tonight. 

WE ALSO GOT JYJ TICKETS, AAHH.  THEY WERE FREE, AAAHHHHH.
Fuck yeah JYJ.  Fuck yeah Jaejoong dancing.  Fuck yeah shitty collab track with Kanye that I can't stop listening to. 


Fuck yeah

I like to

I feel like I don't really believe in red strings anymore.

It seems like a sad thing, but I'm happier that way.


Today,  I didn't do much.  They told us it would be a slow day, but the floor was packed because it's a holiday.

I think it's funny upperclassmen want me to color their hair because I was confident about sectioning. 

It's just sectioning, though.  It's easy.  It's shit you have to know.

I'm not flattered so much as I just think that's sad.  Why waste all that money if you're going to skip out on theory and just not give a shit about what we're doing?   In the very least, you could blow it on hookers and expensive handbags.  Something you could appreciate.

I learned how to fishtail braid, though.  I'm so obsessed with them now!  They're so pretty, like mermaids or runaway princesses.   I wanna put them in pretty girls' hair. 

This week's been a pretty long week, and I'm looking forward to sleeping all weekend.   I don't feel like going out or doing anything with anyone over the weekend.  I just feel like coming home and sleeping.

From the way that sounds, I should say I'm not depressed, just very very sleepy, lately.  Very sleepy.

fuck yeah fuck you success is not an option

Repeat after me


If it feels good,


Do it.

tired

I feel like

I'm over it

already.

Didn't keep my interests maybe.  I'm difficult like that I suppose.

I don't even like alcohol either.

It makes my stomach feel like it's coated in sludge.

Time to go to bed

dry hands

I'm sitting awake trying to figure out this tattoo, reading back over the years with this song on repeat.  It's pretty calming now - doesn't make me sad like it used to.  

It's weird to read the things you've written.  I feel like you're still here, you know?

Maybe you are.  Maybe you just went up into space or something. 

Maybe you'll be reborn and I'll get to finally meet you someday.

My hands are really dry from how much I wash them lately, and from how much I use the washbowls at school.   It puts the lotion on it's skin!

say hi

BEVERLY HILLS FASHION FESTIVAL

ELIE TAHARI - TERESA ROSATI - WILLIAM RAST - H. LORENZO

11 - 06 - 10

 

 

 LEATHER JESUS !  He was cool!  It was his first show and I was doing his makeup.  I had to put crazy dark blood red lipstick on him and cover his eyebrows in gluestick and concealer, only to have the designer come back over and tell us that he didn't want to the men to have makeup anymore.  So we scrubbed it all off!  He was a good sport!

 MARSHALL AND KATE

 You can see he had covertly asked for her glasses. . . .

GLASSES

I want a pair

 

 (13 seconds of amazing)

This was an opportunity that kind of just fell into my lap, and I can't really explain how excited I was prior and how excited I was as I left the tents.

Basically, this was a little taste of the future.  It was fucking incredible.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING US JAMIE.

And thank you to everyone at the show!  It was great!

Février

Work all day, work all night.

Even though I think he's a giant asshole most of the time, I was weirdly surprised by what he said tonight.  It made me realize he's probably a really good person, he's just...  difficult.  But what he said was nice.   I guess it's hard being there, too.   I know what it's like, and I know he doesn't wanna be there forever, so in that sense he's not so bad.  Still an asshole, but a good guy kind of asshole.

Working 60 hours a week has become a big challenge, but a challenge I'm continually alright with taking on.

I felt like today was a waste of a day.

  We probably spent half of it smoking downstairs and trying to figure out whether or not the bank across the street was being robbed or if it was just a bomb threat.  Turns out it was just a bomb  threat. 

I can feel the productivity of tomorrow, though.  It's going to be a clusterfuck, but I know I'll be busy.  ESPECIALLY SINCE I DESPERATELY NEED TO DO SOME COLOR APPLICATIONS  ahhhhh.

On a lighter note, I'm close to my goal mark with the fundraiser bags.  At this point, I'm definitely going to Vegas.  That makes me really excited.  SIX MORE TO GO.

CAN YOU FEEL THE COSMOS BABY CAUSE I CAN SMELL IT FROM HEREEEE

PS,  J:  I really look up to you now.  I feel like we're a lot alike and I know soon I'll be as badass as you are, so watch out!


pps, gemini's pride is easily hurt
good thing they have a lot of it