Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
"you will never be as young as you are today" so says my kombucha bottle
Long time no talk.
Today I sit at a table at school staring off blankly into the rows of stations and the color bar and at jars of barbicide. I feel like shit today. Just physically. It's been three days since I quit smoking, and my body is going through a weird shock of sorts. I have a gross dry cough and my lungs feel heavy and my body is hazy. I feel like I could sleep for days. I'm hoping this ends soon.
My girlfriend and I decided to quit together after I had an asthma attack from smoking one cigarette before bed. I smoke a pack a day and now I'm down to nothing and my body is freaking out, "Bailie, what the fuck are you doing to me?".
So it's commenced this health kick. We're drinking water and kombucha and eating so much green and it feels good and I like it. I'm just ready for the detoxing to end!
Otherwise, I've been a stressful busy bee. My stateboard date is on October 7. That's so so so soon. I can't believe it's already here. I feel like a week ago I started school, and now I'm four feet from the finish line.
While I stress, I'm working on things to keep me occupied and things to keep me content. Things that drive away the boredom. Expensive nail polish and movies and books and collages and silly friends and putting more holes in my ears and daydreaming about necklaces made of wisdom teeth.
So far it might be working.
And even then, at this moment I miss my girlfriend. Despite the fact that she's in the room next to me, I miss her company. Her just sitting next to me and us talking frantically about hidden messages in movies an ouija boards and conspiracy theories and ridiculous Bill Cosby sweaters and shoes.
S asked me if I ever get tired of seeing her so much, since I see her everyday. That question baffled me. I don't feel like I could ever get tired of her. I get tired when I'm not around her all the time.
There's just an important fiber missing in the fabric of everything when I can't see her smile or her bright orange hair, or being able to smell her perfume when she's sitting next to me. Her warm hands and her lively voice that's like a lightning bolt to my god damn chest.
Really though, I say all of this because my nose is stuffy and my head's a little warm and my stomach aches and I wanna bunch up on the couch with blankets and her and watch scary movies until I eventually just fall asleep.
Too bad I have no more sick days to take at school!
Today I sit at a table at school staring off blankly into the rows of stations and the color bar and at jars of barbicide. I feel like shit today. Just physically. It's been three days since I quit smoking, and my body is going through a weird shock of sorts. I have a gross dry cough and my lungs feel heavy and my body is hazy. I feel like I could sleep for days. I'm hoping this ends soon.
My girlfriend and I decided to quit together after I had an asthma attack from smoking one cigarette before bed. I smoke a pack a day and now I'm down to nothing and my body is freaking out, "Bailie, what the fuck are you doing to me?".
So it's commenced this health kick. We're drinking water and kombucha and eating so much green and it feels good and I like it. I'm just ready for the detoxing to end!
Otherwise, I've been a stressful busy bee. My stateboard date is on October 7. That's so so so soon. I can't believe it's already here. I feel like a week ago I started school, and now I'm four feet from the finish line.
While I stress, I'm working on things to keep me occupied and things to keep me content. Things that drive away the boredom. Expensive nail polish and movies and books and collages and silly friends and putting more holes in my ears and daydreaming about necklaces made of wisdom teeth.
So far it might be working.
And even then, at this moment I miss my girlfriend. Despite the fact that she's in the room next to me, I miss her company. Her just sitting next to me and us talking frantically about hidden messages in movies an ouija boards and conspiracy theories and ridiculous Bill Cosby sweaters and shoes.
S asked me if I ever get tired of seeing her so much, since I see her everyday. That question baffled me. I don't feel like I could ever get tired of her. I get tired when I'm not around her all the time.
There's just an important fiber missing in the fabric of everything when I can't see her smile or her bright orange hair, or being able to smell her perfume when she's sitting next to me. Her warm hands and her lively voice that's like a lightning bolt to my god damn chest.
Really though, I say all of this because my nose is stuffy and my head's a little warm and my stomach aches and I wanna bunch up on the couch with blankets and her and watch scary movies until I eventually just fall asleep.
Too bad I have no more sick days to take at school!
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